Notes on "Emotional First Aid" by Guy Winch
I read this book in 2014 and captured notes on rejection - the first chapter and how to deal with it.
Chapter 1: Rejection
* Rejection causes emotional pain similar to physical pain and causes loss of rational thinking
* Rejection triggers anger and aggressive impulses in us
* Rejection causes our self-esteem to be damaged and often causes us to become unnecessarily self-critical
* Rejection threatens our fundamental need to belong and feel accepted by others, causing damage to our physical and psychological health
Treatment
* Create counterarguments to the self-criticism
- In romantic rejections, it's not you
- In workplace rejections, understand what motivates them - again it's not you motivating them
- In social rejections, understand the reasons - again it's not you but changing circumstances
* Remind yourself of aspects of your character that others find attractive
- List out characteristics and write out why and how these are important in your life and for your self-image
* Engage with friends and family
- Spend time talking with them
- Do activities
- Make new friends
- Photographs of loved ones
- Mementos
* Desensitize yourself
- Increase exposure to the source of fear and keep it limited within a time-frame
- Ensure self-esteem can handle it
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